The How to Choose Happiness and Freedom Show: Living by Human Design: Be Who You REALLY Are! With Karen Flaherty

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Karen Flaherty - Human Design Strategist and Best Selling Author

Human Design is a personality assessment that is based on the time and place you were born. It's a blueprint of who you REALLY ARE and how to live your BEST LIFE! Don't miss a word of this amazing interview! Watch the video or listen to the podcast! Get connected with us and stay the course! You choose how you are creating your life.


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Get your chart, learn more about Human Design and more on Karen's Website.

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Getting to Know YOU: Embrace Your Unique Blueprint to Make Decisions you Love and Trust - A Human Design Guidebook

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You create your life. We are teaching you to create your life on purpose. Happiness and Freedom are your birthright! 

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Transcript from Today's Show

You can read instead! Enjoy! (This was transcribed by a machine so some words will not be perfectly right.)

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 0:00
Welcome to October the eighth 2020, the first and last time that this day will ever ever happen. And we get to make this day any way that we want to. I'm Lauren Foster. I'm a happiness teacher. And I'm your host for the How to Choose happiness and freedom show. And I am so beyond excited about my guest today. She's Karen, player D, she is the best selling author of getting to know you all about human design. And that's what we're going to talk about today. So say hello, Karen.

Karen Flaherty 0:30
Hello, Hello. Nice to be with you.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 0:33
I'm so happy. I'm here. As I've said everywhere, you're my new favorite person. I'm so happy that I met you. Karen and I met because we are both authors in a book project called the art and truth of transformation for women, which is going to be released on October 20. And that's the day that you want to go and buy the book. Don't go buy it now. Buy it on the 20th because that date will be 99 cents on Kindle. And you'll get 35 plus free gifts with this. These will include personal coaching sessions, ebooks, video series courses, all kinds of priceless free gifts will come with this on that day only on October the 20th. So don't worry, I'm going to remind you again. But that's how Karen and I met in this amazing group of women who are just, you know, collaborating to create this amazing book. So welcome, Karen, tell us about you tell us who care Flaherty is.

Karen Flaherty 1:37
Oh, thanks, Lauren. Thanks so much for inviting me to be here. I really appreciate it. It's always fun to talk to another author and somebody who appreciates that we're all in this the midst of transformation. Right? And so the biggest, I was happy to be invited into the book also because it allowed me to tell, actually very dear story of mine a very, you know, I hesitate to say now with vulnerable story in my life that led to the transformation that led to Human Design, right. So it's all you know, when you kind of look back at it, it's like, wow, all of that happened. And I really wasn't, you know, yeah, I was the butterfly at the end. But in the middle that was a little messy. And so you get you get to go through this entire transformation I was I started out in New Jersey, the oldest of six kids, big family, not a lot of money. And, but education was really important to my parents to both my parents because neither of them I graduated, got Well, my father went to college for a while, but he didn't graduate now after the GI Bill. So education was important to them, they knew it was there, the way to making more money and having a better life. And so they wanted that for all of us. So for that I'm always grateful. And then I did get a scholarship to a great university. I went there, I graduated, but I just wasn't really sure what I wanted to do. I'd started out pre med, like a lot of other people that pretty much dropped out after biochem. And that was enough of that. So I went into hospital ministration basically took a lot of courses in that. And so that was I took all the graduate courses I could and then graduated and then couldn't find a job. Because it was 1978. And we're just getting into a little mini recession, I guess, anyway, went into retailing, a bunch of other jobs in New York City. And, and so kind of worked my way through, always listening, in a way listening to my gut. But of course listening to everybody else around me to write who you know, everybody else had a different opinion about what I should be doing. They carry you right you should be doing, you should be more than a secretary, you should be more than this. You should be more than that. Meanwhile, in 1978, if you couldn't type and you were a woman, it didn't really matter what else was up here. And what else was up here was not very happy about what was going on with the typing. Right. Everybody graduated from a great, wonderful university. It was like this is crazy. So I am you know, basically plotted my through and plotted my way through and worked my way up and but never really got to the corner office. You know, I got great, had great jobs, really interesting people. I love working in New York City. I love to travel, I love the limos and wonderful dinners and all of that stuff. But that gets tired after a while, you know, and so I finally left the city. I was like got married by that point. But that took a while to I didn't get married till 37 and, and then and then found my way into basically remote positions where I could work at home. And we I'll just say quickly that we couldn't have children and so we tried to to adopt, and we have two foster children for a year. And unfortunately, the adoption didn't work out. So they had to leave us. And that's what the story is about in the book. So getting past that, and getting, you know, kind of getting back to work and trying to find something else that I was really passionate about was kind of elusive at that point, to be honest, I was pretty much in the midst of the grief. And then when I did find Human Design, it was the beginning of 2009. I just went down to a lecture in Princeton at a wellness center, and heard my teacher talk. And she's like, at the end of it, she said, because she was actually talking about another book. And she said, I do this thing called Human Design. If you want to chart go get one. And I was like human design, but just all of a sudden, my ears perked up. I was like, Oh, this sounds really interesting. So I went to the website, got the chart, got a session with her and just really have not left it since I was just hook line and sinker for Human Design, because it explains so many things about my life after being as you can imagine working in New York City, all those years, I was completely in a therapist's office almost every week. There were lots of things to unpack. And, and then after I found Human Design, all of a sudden, all my answers came

Unknown Speaker 6:17
all of a sudden, was like, Oh, you I'm okay. You know, that's so broken. As I like to say my little thing, you're not broken, you don't need to be fixed. Just to hear that, just like so refreshing, right. And this was, you know, 10 years ago now, in 2009. So just to be able to hear that, just to be able to hear that I was okay, that I was really here for a purpose that it really didn't have so much to do with business as it had to do with love. I was like, What? That's me. I was like, corporate America, you know, for a long time. And so I didn't know if I could give up that mantle.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 6:53
But and that is one of the things that attracted me to you. Because I have a giant skeptic in my brain that is always in anytime anything, astrology or anything that seems kind of out there, blue, blue, I have this part of my brain. I don't want to have that part of my brain. And I've been squelching it. But that says, nothing's preordained. And that just kind of argues with me, but being that you are such a logical, pragmatic, scientific, corporate girl. And that this all of this made sense to you encouraged me to delve to delve deeper into it as well. And you know, that I don't think that anyone can predict the future and Human Design doesn't do that. So that it doesn't it's not

Unknown Speaker 7:41
a divination tool.

Unknown Speaker 7:42
Yeah. And all predictive at all right, that allows you to be you, right? And the reason the way I was able to prove it, Lauren, I mean, you have to laugh. I don't know if you saw this, or if I said it in the book. But I actually had I made myself go to all these holistic fairs. The first few years, I knew about human design, because I needed to prove it to myself, before I would even tell my friends and family about it. Because they no need to be a little, you know, I'll go go into different things and research different things and tell them Oh, did you hear about this? Or did you hear about that? And they're like that, like, they didn't want to hear another thing. I was like, I am not going to touch this with a 10 foot pole unless I'm convinced that it works. Right? So I went out to all these holistic shows one year I actually did, even my teacher said, Oh, my God, you did 25 shows 25 shows that's like, every other weekend, right? I was doing a show. And this was in addition to my full time job, right? So it was like the prepping and the pain and in the being at the show all weekend. But I did thousands and thousands of charts. And there was not an unless they didn't know their birth time. Exactly for the day. There was nobody who walked away and said, Oh, this is crazy. This is doesn't work. You know, they're all like, Oh, my gosh, this. And it really, you know, and this is all even including the women who came with their husbands to his things, you know what I mean? Or partners of another kind or business partners? They all said, Wow. Okay, because I got to talk to them off for five or 10 minutes.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 9:17
So tell us what time is everybody? Okay, what is it? What is it? What is it?

Unknown Speaker 9:23
After all this, right? It is it? It is. So it is a personality assessment. And I use the word tool for lack of a better word. It's really a personality, assessment, awareness. So it's an awareness of you and how you are what how your energy is consistent in your body all the time. And the funny thing is, it's based on quantum physics. It's also based on bio genetics and modern math that's on the modern side. And then on the, what I call the ancient side, we've got the eaching both astrology, Eastern, and Western. We've also got the The chakra system, and the gj of Kabbalah, which I really like that it's also based on the Kabbalah, and which is, it's actually the tree of life. If you look at it, it's the tree of life upside down. And so,

Unknown Speaker 10:13

Unknown Speaker 10:15
yeah, and then the chakra system, right all the way through. And in 1791, we know that in addition to the seven chakras, which we all talk about, we actually got to nine chakras. And that's why we talk about it as nine energy centers, because the heart separated into the identity Center and the will, basically and then the, the fears and the emotions also separated. So what we call the solar plexus in, you know, colloquial terms, is the fears and emotions, we actually separated them out. And that's what's on both sides here. And so it's a different way of looking at it, and then just the chakra system, but it really works. And each of those nine centers has a different vibration. And from this, we can find exactly how you interact, actually who you are energetically, right, but then how you interact with other people, which is the real, you know, that's the real bonus with human design. So you get to see who you are. But then basically, you also get to see how everybody else is reacting to you, and how you're reacting to them. And so whether it's a partner or a romantic partner, or your children or your parents, or anybody in your circle, you're going to react differently with them. And we all know that right? You meet somebody and you're like, oh, gosh, I could have, you know, why did we meet years ago, you're so you know, you're so wonderful. I love being with you. It just feels so good, right? That's what we say. Whereas some other people we say, you know, I'm sorry, I have to get another appointment, should I get it going? Right? And only because the energy doesn't feel good, right? Or the other funny thing is the energy feels exactly the same. So if you meet somebody who has exactly the same centers that you have colored in these, these different colored centers, colored in, it's not going to feel so good. Which again, it does the similarities, kind of repel. And, and, and the opposites attract, right. So most people who are emotional are attracted to people like me who are not emotional, because they like that I'm kind of cool, calm and collected. Right? Right. Not emotional either. But some people are emotional. And so they have this a wave that goes up and down and up and down. And to be honest, just being able to explain that to people is a huge gift. Yeah, because people don't realize they're emotional, and they wonder why they act the way they do.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 12:34
Okay, so I think this is a good time, then, tell me if I'm wrong to describe the different the five different energy types. And then I have a great example from my life that I want to share after. Okay, cool.

Unknown Speaker 12:47
All right. And I'm not going to do them in great detail, because you can find the information on the internet and a lot of my website and a lot of other websites. And I do have videos on my website, by the way of each of these, and they're just short, like two to five minutes.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 12:59
Yeah, so let's enter that here. So that wherever you're watching this, if you're watching it on Facebook, or YouTube or listening to the podcast, just look below and we'll share all this information, all the links in the comments are in the show notes or somewhere nearby, there will be links that you can get to Karen easily and get your chart done. It's so cool.

Unknown Speaker 13:20
Yes, and the charts are always free on the website. So don't hesitate and get yours, get your husband's get your children's get whoever you want. They're all free, right? So the five different energy types are usually start with the first one, which is the manifester that they're only eight or 9% of the population. And they're here to start things, they're here to get things started, whether it's a project or a business or a community event or things like that, they get things started there the we call them initiators, as well as the manifest errs. The next two types are the generators and manifesting generators together, they're 70% of the population. So that's the majority of us, I happen to be a generator, a pure generator. And so the difference, the similarity between the generators is that they all have this red circle colored in, and that gives them the energy to basically go and go and go. And so in gold times, we were the farmers were the factory workers, we were the laborers, we basically have built the countries all around the world, and done it, you know, for many, many years. And the difference is that the generators do not have throat energy, or at least is not connected to a motor. And the manifesting generators do have through energy, it's connected to a motor, it gives them the ability to speak, at least clearly, loudly enough. And if they needed to yell across the playground, they could, it's those kinds of people or raise their voice in a restaurant or a bar together, you know, get whatever they want. Those those who are manifesting generators, and generators tend to be a little more quiet that we try to talk tried to be heard, but it doesn't always work. And but they both have a lot of energy every day. Then there's the projectors, there about 20% of the population. That's what Lauren has happens to be. And projectors are here to be wise and to guide and direct the energy of others. And they're really, very wise people, they have the answers to almost everything. They're really good consultants and architects and sales people and teachers, professors, because they have that wisdom. And then the last type are reflectors, and they have of all these energy centers, it's all white on their chart. So they literally are only 1% of the population, and they're reflecting back to us, whatever is in our environment. And so they kind of help us tell whether a community is healthy or not. So they have a very different role that they play well.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 15:45
Right. Okay. So, um, my place as a projector, so I only have two energy centers that are filled in at all. So basically, this means that I just don't have a lot of I don't have energy to spare, right? And so that I need to be really selective about how I spend my energy. So there's, I have a friend who comes here to help me around the house. And one night, she stayed here overnight with my dogs while I was off doing something and I called her the next month, she said, Oh, I didn't even sleep, I just piddled around and watch TV. And I was just flabbergasted, I would have been destroyed. Had I stayed up all night. And she does this all the time. She goes and goes and goes and here and there. And her chart is lit up all over the place, she does have the big energy center, and she's got lots of other areas that are colored in again, I'm talking in very kindergarten terms. That just I understand, but we so enjoyed. And and, you know, when I told her what I knew about her chart, she's like, oh, wow, yeah. And she was she was going to go to your site and check out more stuff, too. Because, yeah, and great. And it was cool. She's like, I love that you see this in me that you appreciate this in me, you know, you know, and so it helped our relationship just to know that she has the energy. So I didn't feel guilty about you know, having her do things and, you know, I could appreciate her it's just, it will help your life in a lot of ways. Is that,

Unknown Speaker 17:14
yeah, and actually, to that point, I mentioned the five different energy centers, or three energy types. But what's different about each of those energy types is that they each have their own decision making strategy. And so this is the what there's three things with human design that everybody will understand, or at least start to understand once they get their chart is that first of all, you have all different energy centers colored in, which is your energetic blueprint, let's call it that, right. It's an energetic blueprint. This is how you operate, and what you'll what people feel from you, then there's the decision making strategy, which if you, you probably had, you know, if you're, if you're more than 20 years old, let's say you probably have an inkling as to what that is. And you probably figured it out. And, in fact, young people are very good at using their their guts, because that happens to be the strategy for a bunch of people. And so the decision making strategy that will help you make decisions going forward. So you may have known about it, you might have wondered about it, but now you'll know for sure, and then you can make those decisions all the time using that strategy, which makes a big difference for people, right, you can, you can follow the breadcrumbs and try different things. But being knowing for sure that that works, having confirmation that that works is a big deal. And then the other piece is your life's purpose. Because once we, if we talk or if you, you know, talk to somebody else, you'll be able to get into more depth with your chart, I like to say that if we had time and wanted to sit on the beach and have a drink, we could talk about your chart for 10 hours, because that's how much information is in there. But the basis of it is your decision making strategy and if you know your decision making strategy that can change your life alone.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 18:52
So is that is it the like the manifesting generator, that's what's popping into my head? Because my best friend is that and also the friend I was just talking about, what is their decision making strategy.

Unknown Speaker 19:07
So they're the manifesting generator would have a decision making strategy that's a little more Well, for the let's say, for the pure generator, it's just listen to your gut or wait to respond to something in your outside reality. For the manifesting generator. It's a few more steps, it is listen to your gut. But then they should kind of envision reprocess, figure out who needs to know what they're going to be doing, once they decide what their gut what to do, and then inform those people not to get approval not to get, you know, not to get permission by all but just to let them know, so that they don't get upset with them. Because you're usually doing a lot in a day. And so they need to let the people know who would be affected by the decision, right as an act. So they have a few more steps, but because they're manifesting generators, they can do them quickly.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 19:58
Right. book it Turns out that those people can either help or get out of the way. Exactly. I love it. Yes,

Unknown Speaker 20:08
yeah, I tend to be pretty blunt, sometimes. But, but people like that, you know, because I don't like to, you know, go around the bush and, and, you know, make big proclamations or make believe I'm some kind of an expert or guru or something I'm not. I'm just very pragmatic. And I just want people to get to the, you know, if you want to get from point A to point B, I'll tell you, the fastest way to get there

Unknown Speaker 20:31
is to do

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 20:32
and you're getting all of that from the chart. And so that, okay, one of the one of the parts of our course I'm in care, one of Karen's current courses, and I was doing some of my homework this morning. And we were talking about, or you were talking about homogenization and differentiation. And I think that the blue pill and the red pill, I think that's just fascinating. Can you can you share about that a little bit?

Unknown Speaker 20:58
Well, so

Unknown Speaker 21:01
we all you know, whether you look at the educational system, or basically any societal system that exists, we are all taught to be the same. And we are not the same, we might all be part of one big, you know, think of it as the big circle, actually, so somebody described it the other day, that we might all be part of this one big circle, but the 3.1417, pie, it goes on and on to infinity, uses every combination of numbers, did you know this, and every single telephone number, social security number, address, everything is in there. And it doesn't repeat, never repeats, it just is always unique. And so that's what we are, we are always unique, each one of those little digits is, is us. And we're totally unique. And it just goes on and on. And on and on. And there's no two people who are like, I actually, you know, because my husband and I are so nerdy, we actually ran the numbers one night, and we came to 3.5 billion different combinations on this chart alone, just from what I'm pointing at in terms of gates and channels, and the different energy centers and things like that. And so the probability that you're going to meet the one other person in the world who's exactly like you, unless it's your twin, is pretty rare. And so we're all unique. But we're breezed to think that we all should be doing this or we all should be doing that. Or we should be the Nike just do what people are, we should be following Tony Robbins, and you know, just getting up every day and pushing forward. And you know, you know, everybody devil, be careful, devil may care kind of attitude doesn't work. It doesn't work for everybody works for some people. But it doesn't work for everybody. And it certainly doesn't work for me and you. For sure. Right? Learn, right? So there are lots of different ways to get what you want. And so with this, you know, knowing your chart, knowing a little bit more about you, we can find out exactly who you are, what what would be best for you, and then figure out the awareness that allows you to decondition what you've learned, right? Because that's what happens. The deconditioning occurs from early on, as soon as you're at in the cradle. You are saying, Oh, don't cry, don't cry. Well, babies are supposed to. There you go. That's your first conditioning. Right? Right. And so what we need to do is learn to be ourselves, in the moment, without the conditioning that we've been conditioned to have all our lives, whether and you know, everybody was well, meaning I always like to, you know, say that as a caveat. Our parents are usually you know, our parents or teachers. And so usually because some parents just shouldn't be parents anyway. But there's the parents, the teachers, the friends that, you know, everybody you come in contact with in the first 20 years, is trying to give you some advice, right? But they don't know you. They don't know who you are. And they don't know if you're red, blue or red pill or blue pill, right? They don't know if you're, what did you call you know, you don't want to be homogeneous. Most people? Well, everybody I know, doesn't want to be homogeneous, right? We all want to be a little bit different. And maybe it's because we get to this golden age, right? of wanting to be ourselves, and we realize it's okay, but but the homogeneity within the society is tamping all of our real genius Dale, and it's a shame. And it's got to change and I think that really part of what's going on right now is that homogeneity is going out the window, because those of us who know a little bit who can help other people who can help them through, guide them through this period. Also, be aware be an activist via the be talking just be having discussions with people so that we realize that This is, it's all going to be okay. This is just what we needed to go through the earth needs to heal a little bit, but so does society. And there are a lot of, you know, I'm not going to get political, but there are a lot of things that aren't working, that need to be to come to the surface. And they're coming to the surface now. And so, it's, it's really up to us, you know, to know who we are, know, our values, know what's important to us, right? Stand in our value, and then allow ourselves to take the steps that we need to take so that we can help whoever we can.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 25:34
Yeah. In our class. I don't know. Are you hearing that audio? Or is that just me? It was anything? Okay. Um, you are the you call this wayshowers and lightworkers, which I thought was just awesome to people that are, they're showing the way in and I do think that we are, as a species, figuring out that life's too short not to be who you are. Life is too short to spend your time trying to be what someone else wants you to be. And so that realization is like the most important step, but then you're helping us to actually do it to actually figure out who that who that person really is, and how we can step into being the person and it's, it is so frigging, and so empowering, to, to look at things in this way. And I want this for everyone, you know,

Unknown Speaker 26:24
exactly. And me too, you know, and that's why the more I can spread the word, the more podcasts I can do, or courses I do, or whatever, you know, that's, that's just my mission is to let people know how wonderful they are, how they were born perfectly, nothing has changed, and how they can really live into who they are, and really learn. It's interesting, because once you know who you are, and you know who you want to be, there's not one of my clients who doesn't say, oh, how can I help other people with this? Right? Because once you're really okay with who you are, you realize there's a lesson there for other people, right? I mean, if you've gotten to this age, or any age at this point, really, right, you probably learned a few lessons, right? And you're ready to teach other people. And so you know, most of my clients are teachers, most of my, and they may not know it, right, but their teachers have a sort, right, or, as you say, wayshowers or lightworkers, however, you want to talk about it, but we're here to help other people. That's really why we're here. We're here to be joyful. We're here to grow. We're here to be so what is it, it's gross. It's the growth that leads to freedom I'd like to save in this is from the abraham hicks philosophy. But basically you grow, you get to a point of freedom, whatever that is, whatever type of freedom you're looking for. And then that brings joy, and then you grow again, right. And freedom, again, different kinds of freedom, and then a different kind of joy. Because the joy is you had when you were 20 are a lot different than the joys you have later on in life, right? Whether it's children, or grandchildren, or your career, or your pets or your neighbors and friends and family. It all changes over time. I talked to a eight year old friend of mine the other day, who is holed up in his apartment in New York, God bless him. He's on a fifth floor walk up, and he's having hip problems. But he said, Karen, I've never been happier in my life. I've never been more content, because he's got his artwork, he writes poetry. He's a brilliant artist. In fact, this actually, this is one of his paintings by me, and which he made for me, and he's he said he's so content, because he's surrounded by his, his books, and his art and his, his poetry. And he is, which only retired for five years, he was a professor at NYU. And but he's loving his life. And that is just so, so good to hear. And we've been friends for a long time. And so it's just fun to, to keep in touch with him and see how he's doing and tell them to breathe. Keep breathing steam and doing his exercises and drinking more water. Because you know, at 80 years old, you tend to not drink as much water and things like that. So anyway, it's just fun to be in conversation with people who are still alive and vibrant. And getting through this. Right. Yeah,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 29:19
that that is so exactly the message that we that we're trying to spread here at be happy first is that you can be happy anywhere in any circumstance in any situation. And if that's what you choose,

Unknown Speaker 29:33
you should interview him Lauren.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 29:34
Yes, I think I will. Remind me to hook up with him. Yeah. So you brought up our one of our mutual favorite teachers, Abraham Hicks, and I know that you you incorporate the law of attraction into your coaching and your teaching and things like that. How does that how does that tie in with the human design approach?

Unknown Speaker 30:00
Well, I mean, I have been studying human. I'm sorry, I've been studying law of attraction for 10 years when I heard about human design. So my very first question after I was talking with my teacher was, does this work with the law of attraction? And she said, Yes. And I was like, thank goodness, because if it doesn't, I might have to say goodbye right now. Because the law of attraction was working for me in my life. And I was really happy with the results. And so, so yes, it works beautifully with this, because, in fact that the big yellow diamond in the middle is all about attraction. This is literally the love and direction center self love and self direction center that we all attract into whether it's colored in or not on your chart. So I know yours is not colored in mine is Lauren. But whether or not it's colored in, that's your sole source of attraction. It's the, in our parlance, we call it the magnetic monopole. But it's only attracting, it doesn't repel. Right? It only attracts right? So you get to decide what it is you want to attract into your life. And it works beautifully with human design. And so what I suggest to my clients is that they make lists, as you would you know, a shopping list. Make a list 1012 items at the most in a particular area of your life, whether it's career or relationship or a prospective relationship that you'd like to get into, make a list just 10 or 12 items. What do you want that to look like? What do you want it to feel? Like? How will you be in that relationship or that that new job or new career and and then and those are all qualitative items, right? So it's going to, it's going to feel wonderful, I'm going to be appreciated, the hours are flexible, I'm making enough money when it gets to the money. I don't like to use numbers. Tony Robbins hates this, but I don't want to use numbers. I don't think the universe answers numbers. was ever asked for a million dollars and just seen a drop right in, it doesn't happen like that would happen. If you want to be abundant, right? So you say things like, I want to have enough money to cover my expenses, to put money into the business, to put money away for savings, and to do the things I want to do right with whether it's my partner or my friends or whoever. And though that's, that's an abundant feeling, right? That's an A, when I have all that I'm feeling abundant. When I have good friends, they feel abundant. When I have good, good food or wine, I feel abundant, right? It's, you know, a good meal, you feel abundant. And so it's in air and water in the trees, you know, being out in nature, it's just those are feelings of abundance, and many of them you don't even have to pay for. So you want that feeling of abundance to come into your life and into your qualitative list. So that you're feeling that all the time.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 32:57
We are specific. And and now I'm gonna rethink this because as you were talking, if, if I'm not assigning a number to my abundance wishes, then the universe knows what I want it the universe is what is what is beautiful, and the universe knows what everything costs. So why why do we have to? Um, I don't know, it's almost like limiting. It's almost like,

Unknown Speaker 33:30
yeah, oh, it's limiting. Oh, my stuff comes out a lot better than I write down. And that was like, just a Hoss from this process. I'm like, oh, wow, the universe is even better, you know, better at this than me. I mean, when I when we got to Florida, I wanted one balcony. Right? I got four balconies. So who could have imagined? Right? Right? We have a lovely place, I look at more trees than I ever did in New Jersey. And so this is, you know, and who would have thought, right? in Florida. I've thought of it as one, you know, kind of flat plane. But I found two things as I'm using this visa lists that I do. One is that the universe knows you better than I even know myself or it knows me better than I even know myself right? And really knows what I want. That it's also good at timing. So the timing is really good with the with the law of attraction when it comes to the universe and what it brings you. And so it does bring you things that are actually better than what you imagined. The other piece is that we have this you know, it's a cultural thing. But we have this feeling that the money has to come from the work that we do. And I'm here to tell you, the more I let go of it, the more the money came in from other places had nothing to do with me. Nothing. And I mean to this day, and I still don't know where some of it came from, but it came in So, you know, it's just the weirdest thing. And so, you know, just like 401 K's that I'd forgotten about that, you know, the company decided to, you know, this was the weirdest one, because I happen to pay for a bunch of those holistic fares just for example. And I was really had to pay off those bills, because we had just moved. And I knew I had to pay them off. And I was just like, why would we really be nice if something came in? All of a sudden, my employer from New York from 2001, that I left, I should have been getting like, and this is I'll just say the numbers because it's just kind of weird. I was supposed to be getting when I whenever I retired, or after 65 years old, I guess $150 a month, because we'd only been gotten I'd been there a long time. But we had only been merged with that company for a few years. So the the pension wasn't much, right. And so was supposed to be $150, after 65. And I was only worth 50, something at that point. We got they said, we're going to give you and I'll tell you in excess of $50,000 cash. And this came in the mail, Lauren, and I looked at the number and I showed it to my husband, and he's like, what are they crazy? They just so this is why things don't happen strangely, and you know, Abraham Hicks tells us stories like this to where, you know, they had a little piece of land, and somebody wanted it and they paid this ridiculous amount for it. She's like, it's just a driveway. Paid for so. So things like that will happen. And guess what that amount was just what I needed to pay off the bills. Like within $1,000, right? To pay off it even after taxes. Even after I paid the taxes, everything was good, everything got paid off. So you can't make it up. Right? You can't make up this stuff. When it works. It works. It works beautifully. And so I'm just a big proponent of it. And I'm just like, just let it go. Let it be, you know, it doesn't mean you're not ever going to get tense again, it doesn't mean you're not ever going to get anxious again. But the more you know, I think they say that the more you're on the 50% or, you know, like one side of it, but the other right, the more often you can do that the better.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 37:19
So it's like stretching a muscle. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, and I just, I just love everything that you say. And so I want you to say everything that I believe in your words, because you put things beautifully. Um, so we're talking about the the difference between trusting that the universe has your back and feeling like you've got to go out and be scrappy all the time. So

Unknown Speaker 37:46
that was a hard worker, I worked really hard. Most of my life I get from seven years old. We have a tree business. My father had a tree business on the side. I was working from seven years old. I thought that's how you make money. It's only how you made money was to work.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 38:03
And that nothing wrong with work. All you've manifesting generators out there reading.

Unknown Speaker 38:08
Now, I'm still in favor of work. But

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 38:10
yeah, but so. So work that feels inspiring work that feels fulfilling work that feels connected with who you really are. And being in a place of allowing all the abundance and feeling deserving of all the abundance.

Unknown Speaker 38:29
Well, that's the other piece.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 38:31
Yeah. So how, how do we did so that I can just picture a lot of people going up? That would never work for me? How How do you teach your clients to have the that feeling of worthiness, that feeling of deserving? Mm hmm.

Unknown Speaker 38:49
Well, it does show up in the chart, you know, there are some people who do feel as if they are worthy, kind of from the get go, they have the confidence they have the ego. But those would be would be people who have this little red dot a little red triangle filled in, that's the will center, I call it the will center. Some people call it the heart center or the ego. I don't like to say people don't have a heart. Right. Most of us do have a heart. So I like to call it the will center. But it's all about willpower and ego and so forth and money. And so for those of us who don't have it filled in, which is about two thirds of the population, don't have it filled in on our charts. And so we don't come in feeling worthy. We don't come in feeling like we have self esteem. Like we're confident it takes a lot to build us up. But once you can realize that you don't have anything to prove Lauren, you really don't have anything to prove. You don't have to prove you're a good mother or a good sister or a good daughter or good employee, good student. None of that. You don't have to prove it. You are worthy, you are valuable. You do come in with this worthiness and there's nothing you have to do To prove it, and so once you can realize that, then you can start setting boundaries. So it's kind of a two step process. So first you start feeling worthy. And you don't have to that you don't have to prove anything. But then you want to set boundaries. Because what happens with people with the open wheel center, when it's white on your chart, it, what it means is that it's easy for people to ask you to prove yourself, right. So whether it's your parents, or your siblings, or your teachers, you always feel like you're proving yourself as a kid. And so you don't feel deserving, right? You don't feel that worthiness, and then you don't set boundaries. And I think that the not setting boundaries is really catching up with a lot of people. It certainly, you know, it was the bane of my existence for a long time. Because I had a hard time setting boundaries, I always felt like I had to prove myself, I was the type who, once I was making money, I was buying presents Christmas presents for everybody birthday presents, you know, sending flowers doing this, but just trying to prove my worthiness, you know, as a friend, as an associate, as a client, always trying to prove something, you know, and even my parents would say, what do you get all these presents for? We don't you know, you don't have to get us these things. My father even returned a bathrobe once. Like, I don't need this fancy bathroom. Cuz I was working in New York, and I could buy the fancy bathrooms, you know, he said, Kylie this ticket to stop spending your money on things that we don't need. So it was, you know, like, over overdone, right too much. But what does that prove just that I had the hole in me, that just meant that I had to keep proving myself. So. So it's really good. When you start feeling you're worthy, you stop buying the you stop buying the presence.

Unknown Speaker 41:46
You find all the Presidents you stop showing up at all the birthday parties that you really don't want to be at, you'd go to the events that you really want to be in, you stop showing up for the Chamber of Commerce things at seven o'clock in the morning that you really don't, don't believe you're going to find anybody that you really want to talk to anyway, right? I would show up at all those seven o'clock 7am Chamber of Commerce meetings, you know, where you had to get up at five o'clock to get ready to go to travel to them. And I was miserable being there. And you know, what people could tell? I've got a poker face. We are I guess I don't have a poker face, right? I don't play poker so people can tell what I'm thinking. Right? So seven o'clock, and I wasn't happy, you could tell you could tell and who's gonna want to meet you.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 42:34
So So um,

Unknown Speaker 42:36
I suppose boundaries,

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 42:38
this thing with boundaries comes up with my clients a lot. And and I I kind of have some confusion myself. So what I just heard was you say no to things that you don't want to do that that makes sense for a boundary. But sometimes it feels like when you talk about setting boundaries, you're talking about dictating the behavior of other people.

Unknown Speaker 43:02
No, no, no, just your behavior. Okay, so that's all we have. We only have control over our behavior. Okay. Yeah. No, it's just it's saying yes. When you mean yes. And saying no. When you mean no. Okay. That's why I like to put it right, that you really are just being authentic. And saying no. And of course, you can say it as nicely as possible. If you don't want to, that's okay, too. But if you can come up with ways of saying no, I'm so sorry. I can't make those cupcakes for the church event on Sunday. I just don't have the time. I'm so sorry. I'll, you know, get me next time. And then the next time comes and you say I'm sorry, again. But if that's so true, you know, and then once in a while, you're gonna want to make the cupcakes, right? But why do you you know, why do we have to feel like we have to make the cupcakes every single time. Just, we're not going to save the world with the cupcakes. Right? Right. And meanwhile, you're usually putting yourself at some risk, right? Because either you're not doing something for your family or yourself, or your work that you really didn't want to do. Right? So it's, it's a, it's a balancing act, you can do the pieces that you feel good doing, right? And that's, that's the biggest thing. I just help people figure out what it is you really like to do, do that. When you do that, you're being yourself, you're being more authentic. And then everybody gets to see how happy you are, right? Because that's the path to happiness to or contentment or fulfillment, whatever you want to call it, right? You're doing what you really want to do. And not only will you be happy doing it, you'll be making money doing it, because the money can flow a lot more easily into a happy vessel. And I'm not so happy.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 44:41
Right? One of my other favorite abraham hicks quotes is that there's no happy ending to an unhappy journey. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 44:52
yeah. We think that if we're trudging through and making our way and doing our work and being miserable through it, you know, in many of us can actually be miserable in our jobs and still keep going every day, we have the energy to do that. Excuse me, for the most part, you would either be in something that you weren't really supposed to be in, and you might be taking somebody else's job. Right, somebody else's seat who really should be there, you really would love doing what you're doing. Right? Whereas then you can go off and do what you really want to do.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 45:25
I never thought of it like that. That's a great thing. So stop doing what you don't like doing and make room for somebody that will like do yeah. And go and do it. You know, it's the same premises cleaning out your closets, right? So that more can come in or are leaving room for the the prospective romantic partner right, so that there's room for them to come in. And so that same idea making welcome. Yeah, I left. Okay. All right, cool. So let's, let's review what for go to the link below and get your free chart, because it's fascinating. And then she'll also when she sends you that she'll send you all kinds of free resources to study up on what your energy type is and to learn more. And then if you're just completely fascinated and want to become your most amazing person, go ahead and have a session with Karen, you will love it. And get get connected with her because she's she's Yeah, I've said it. Before. I'll say it. She's my new favorite person and my new guide in my life coach, and I think five times at all. I'm gonna write this down and ask Karen, I'm gonna write this down as Karen. See what my chart says about this? Yes. All right. Can you turn there's a lot of answers in it. Yeah. All the answers, right?

Unknown Speaker 46:38
Yes, yeah. Yes, my perspective.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 46:42
I can't wait to learn more. All right. Is there anything else that you want to add before we wrap it up for the day and anything we forgot to talk about?

Unknown Speaker 46:50
Now? I think I think we covered a lot. But you know, I would just say that everybody's unique. And we all have a purpose. And we all have a story that we can really kind of dive into and make our lives much more exhilarating, happy, fun. All the good stuff. We don't need to labor the way we've been laboring. It's, it's an old prospect from the 20th century. 18th and 19th centuries, to be honest, 18th 19th and 20th. Now we're in the 21st century. It's time for a new story.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 47:26
Your story. Awesome. I love it. So so very much. Okay. So again, thank you, Karen, for being here with us. It's living by design calm. No, literally, Human Design. calm.

Unknown Speaker 47:39
Yes. Thank you, Lauren.

Lauren Gabrielle Foster 47:40
All right, thank you. And we're going to be met back next week with another of my fellow authors. Her name is escaping me at the moment. Sara. Sara Lezcano is going to be here with me next week. And remember on the 20th, you want to be ready to pay 99 cents for your exclusive Kindle copy of the art and truth transformation for women along with all those gifts that are going to be there. And I'm gonna see you back here real soon. In the meantime, remember that happiness is a choice, and you can always choose to be happy first. See you later.

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