John has a fresh and lovely approach to financial freedom! Enjoy this episode!
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Today's episode with John is for everyone who has ever felt the lack of money and the fear of not having enough. Finding the balance between spirit and action. It's awesome! Watch the video or listen to the podcast! Get connected with us and stay the course! You choose how you are creating your life.
Here is all of the extra, insider information, resources and free stuff from today's episode. We hope you will reach out to John and the Be Happy First Team. All our love! Be Happy First!
John was a fantastic guest and we had a lot of fun exploring the way hard work and positive thought go hand in hand and more!
Here are some great links to learn more.
"Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda
Steve Jobs Favorite book.
You can read instead! Enjoy! (This was transcribed by a machine so some words will not be perfectly right.)
Lauren G. Foster (1s):
Hello, and welcome to the how to choose happiness and freedom show. I'm your host Lauren Foster happiness teacher and founder of the heavy first as a certified life mastery consultant, masters of wisdom and meditation teacher and primal health coach. I'm on a mission to help 1 million women learn to be happy and free on purpose, healthy, wealthy, and joyfully living life on your own terms. Happiness is a choice and you can always choose to be happy first. Thanks so much for being here now on to today's episode.
Lauren G. Foster (35s):
All right. Thank you so much for being here with me. It is a beautiful Thursday. It's August 13th, 2020. I made the decision to start including the date for posterity, because yeah, just because, so I'm so happy to have with us today, the author of the wealthy Gardner, which has been called the best financial book of 2020 and John, your offer got to make certain that I knew how to pronounce your last name, so forth.
John Soforic (1m 7s):
That is correct. Lauren, you did a fantastic job with that. Thank you.
Lauren G. Foster (1m 11s):
Okay, awesome. Thank you so much for being here with us.
John Soforic (1m 15s):
It's my honor. It's my privilege. Thank you for having me on your podcast.
Lauren G. Foster (1m 19s):
So I have spent all morning deciding, so I haven't finished reading the wealthy gardener. It's a big book, but I did start it yesterday. And I got through all the first part. Of course, I'm running two businesses. So I, I think I could forgive myself for not finishing the book in one day, but so I found a lot of areas of would you and I are just right in line with the, with the things that we teach and the things that we believe. And I found some others that were very opposite and I couldn't make up my mind whether we should find the common ground to talk about that and have a nice, easy, Oh, we're all in agreement kind of show.
Lauren G. Foster (1m 57s):
Or if we should take apart some of the parts that are not in alignment and discuss them and learn from each other and I never did decide. So we're just going to see how it goes and have an organic conversation and see what happens. Does that sound good?
John Soforic (2m 13s):
That sounds fine, Lauren. I mean, it's, to be honest with you, the format that you're talking about, we had a, you know, just as far as context, you and I had a conversation before this went on here and I found that to be intellectually challenging on my end as well. You certainly know my philosophy. If you read my book, I certainly understand yours. So yeah, I understand. I see shades of gray everywhere. And when I was writing this book, which was a book written for my son, the context with one of our dialogues was that let's talk about where we disagree.
John Soforic (2m 48s):
Let's talk about understanding one another. So this is common ground for me. If you want to talk about ideas, I think we can either entrench our ideas deeper or change our minds. And both of those things serve our purpose pretty well, right? Yeah,
Lauren G. Foster (3m 4s):
Absolutely. So welcome Tammy. Tammy's my, my partner. She takes care of all of the visual aspects of all of my marketing, cause I'm the words, girl, and she's the visual thing that makes things pretty. And of course we support each other and keep each other accountable in our separate businesses and my mastermind partners. So thank you so much for being here to support us, Tammy. Okay. So let's just start off by telling us about the wealthy gardener. Tell us about the, in general, the book, what it was, why you read it, what it was meant for who it serves
John Soforic (3m 37s):
Well, like, you know, keeping them out of the book was written after my own quest for financial freedom. So once I achieved that goal in my own life, and I think sometimes, you know, the aspects of your life that shape your own philosophy need to be discussed as well at times. You know? So maybe you and I have diverse philosophies in some areas, but you might understand my little more if you understand where I come from. Right? So we get to the point where I, I fought for a stroke for a financial freedom in my life.
John Soforic (4m 14s):
I wanted that time freedom and even financial power. And I'm going, I got to that point and I reached it. That's when I stepped back, I pulled back and retired from some things. And I sat on, I set up to educate my son. I didn't want him to be as enslaved in life by the financial conditions that can dictate so much of our time. So much of our life. It was important to me that he at least understood the lessons of my own life.
John Soforic (4m 46s):
So I set upon a wealthy gardener. We would just go through chapters each week. He was in college. I would break these little tight chapters of four, you know, four pages each. And then we would, like we said, at the beginning, I would, I would ask him for critique. I would ask him for let's discuss this deeply. And sometimes we agree. Sometimes we don't always improve our dialogue between he and I. So that was the whole idea. We built this process of education between a father, his sight wasn't just from me to him.
John Soforic (5m 20s):
It was between us. It looked collaboration and only after it was over, did we decide to name it and to self publish it? You know? And that's, that's exactly what happened. We self published it and it then took off and kind of found some, some trash. And I say, it's, it was picked up by a publisher and it's been translated in six languages. And here we are, but that's, that's the synthesis of where it all came from.
Lauren G. Foster (5m 46s):
Okay. And, and this whole entire process, now you became financially independent in the real estate. So tell us about your financial journey. Just summarize that. Of course, we're all going to go, right?
John Soforic (5m 60s):
Sure. Briefly, briefly. So as to not bore your listeners to us. Absolutely. I mean, I, so I come from a family of blue collar family from Western Pennsylvania, small town, and my grandfather was a coal miner. My, he died penniless. My parents, when they got married, they, they started their lives in half of the trailer, not a full trailer. I was the first person in my family to ever go to college. I graduated from a chiropractic college at the age of 24, with $200,000 worth of student debt in today's dollars.
John Soforic (6m 35s):
I was soon married. We had two children by the age of 30. I was frustrated. I was, I was sure one thing, I was a wage slave. And my, my hours of my life were given to food, shelter, clothing, and paid back this enormous student that, that nobody else can see due to that frustration. I set a goal for financial freedom and actually I set a goal for probably financial power, more than freedom. I wanted to dictate the circumstances of my life. I didn't want to have to think about money.
John Soforic (7m 7s):
I didn't want this stuff. Money could buy, but I wanted the time when he could buy it and needed that desperately. And that's why I set a goal, a rather logical. And I set upon them the next two decades after I was 30, you know, there's two decades. I earned the goal that I did set. I did get the level of financial power that I wanted so that I can change this story of my own family line from, you know, what you would say was poverty to a lot, to a position of giving my kids security and giving my kids opportunity and giving myself a little bit more breathing room in this world.
John Soforic (7m 44s):
That was my financial story. And yeah, when you say that I want to sell real estate. There's no question that my life filled up with just more than chiropractic, but those are the means, you know, there's a lot more, there's a lot of ways to gain money. A lot of ways to gain money. Mine just happened to be real estate. That was the, the technique is the tactic. If you want to call it that, but there's a lot of ways to get there.
Lauren G. Foster (8m 6s):
Okay. And so what, what are the, and of course in the book, he is, is, you know, delving deeper into some of the miracles that came about that he does not call miracles, which is one of our things. So when he learned to have mental practices, you know, like meditation and visualization, and really getting in the feeling place of the goals that he was setting for himself, things started to happen that were not directly related to him making them happen.
Lauren G. Foster (8m 37s):
And so he made that discovery. Am I, did I report that accurately?
John Soforic (8m 44s):
Oh, absolutely. Lauren some of the, you know, some of the hardest things in my book to bare my soul with is some, are those personal beliefs. You know, I keep in mind that you, you attain a certain level of life and then you get there. And so do I have to really tell people the, the most secret secrets in my soul and sure. That was important to me. I dared my soul. And did I, does the wealthy gardener? Did I, in my own life find that if I focus my mind on things, do things change.
John Soforic (9m 18s):
Yeah. You will not find a stronger, a stronger supporter of that. I believe in, I believe in a Western philosophy, you know, I, I do believe in doggy determination of our country. You know, we're a real persisting group, but I also believe in Eastern philosophy. And I think that there's some real shiny examples in this world, like Oprah Winfrey and Steve jobs, if you've ever read their writing, if you've ever read the books that they like, you're going to see an example of a blend of Eastern and Western philosophies.
John Soforic (9m 50s):
So when you talk about using your mind, your spirituality, yeah. Count me into that. I can promise you, I couldn't be financial financially free with my own hands alone. Yeah.
Lauren G. Foster (10m 3s):
And this, this is where everything all comes together because yes it is. Absolutely. And you know, I, I teach a lot about the law of attraction and a lot of people get the idea that all you have to do is think positive and inclusion and you don't have to do anything. Have to, I have to is like one of my least favorite phrases, but the idea is that you, you figure out what you want from your life. You have this picture of financial freedom and being able to support your family and do live your life the way you wanted to live it and have the money to back that up and then get lined up with that spiritually and psychologically.
Lauren G. Foster (10m 46s):
And the ways that you get there unfold in ways that you could never imagine. So what I'm picturing in 10 years from now, this, the wealthy gardener was not written as a wealth vehicle for you. It was, it was a project of your heart, you know, and building a relationship with your son. What if this turns into the vehicle that brings you millions of dollars way in excess of the goals that you set in the other things that you were doing tactically in order to,
John Soforic (11m 19s):
You know, I'm not discounting that. Certainly I would say that probably if, if that were the case, the, the goal for me would end to be funneling that profit back into advertising to help that book find more people. My, my goal is zero profit. Okay. On this book, let's say, let's say you get to a point in life. And I see this, that you have to be smart enough to be able to achieve your goals, but you have to be wise enough to know when those are achieved.
John Soforic (11m 55s):
Okay. What if I have worked all my life to develop this buffet of food in front of me, do I really want five more plates on that table? I can't eat what I have already. I have a flow of income. I've reached Michaels. How about if I have the wisdom to say enough and what my real goal would be on this is that, how about we find a person like me in life who was, I mean, I was struggling the pain of the pain of being down and out and down financially.
John Soforic (12m 25s):
You know, you just have to watch some TV shows where like undercover boss, those kinds of things, you'll see, people cry about money. It means something. And they, you know, the whole hierarchy of, you know, the hierarchy of Pavlov is the laws. You have to get yourself out of that subsistence so that you can even think of the higher aspects of that self-actualization pyramid. So, you know, on one hand, yeah, I could not have got there without, without confidence.
John Soforic (12m 56s):
At the same time, my confidence became more and more as I became better and better. And I was overcoming my circumstances, no question. This is a bigger impact gold of the book, the wealthy gardener, but my, my motive is not money. My motive is fun. And that person like me, you'll hear people talk about it, but I, I spend everything I make. I spend on advertising to try to find that next person, I could care less about a dime on this thing. That's where I am.
Lauren G. Foster (13m 25s):
And I get that in that as wonderful, beautiful, and noble, but the millions of dollars that could come from this, you can, nobody says that you have to put that in your own bank account or buy stuff for yourself with it. You know, you could find it another dream of supplying clean water, or, you know, starting a business school. There are so many good things that you can do in the world.
John Soforic (13m 48s):
The world needs good people with money. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's where you find the Oprah's come into the world. You know, like you need good people with money, then you'll see power you'll then you'll see purpose. You'll see, you'll see service to others. Absolutely.
Lauren G. Foster (14m 4s):
So in, in the, the structure of this podcast generally follows along the guidelines of my group coaching course that I used to teach, copy, happy first university. And so the podcast is fluid enough that we can have different topics, but this month is about money. We're talking all about, about money and about wealth and about abundance. And the first week, our topic was beliefs and set points. And the, the way that we feel deserving of whatever amount of money and all of the things that we've been taught, which I read some of this in your book, that these were limiting beliefs that all of us have, that have to be overcome like money is the root of all evil.
Lauren G. Foster (14m 50s):
You see what I mean? Do you, do you want to, you want to talk about that for a little bit and share your, share some advice to us about how we can change the way that we think about money and wealth?
John Soforic (15m 6s):
Absolutely. Lauren, I mean, I can speak from firsthand experience because there are there's times when you feel like you are, you know, you're intending something, but you're hitting your head against a ceiling and you just can't quite figure out why, you know, and there's a, there's a, you know, I felt that my own life beliefs are, are these big invisible things that stand between intention and execution. You know, I would say that for me, some of the beliefs I had to get around was that wealth is good.
John Soforic (15m 42s):
Wealth to me is good for my family. Wealth to me is good. Good for everybody around me. And I'll tell you another reason wealth is good. Wealth is good because it causes me to serve other people. You know, we have it so wrong in life that we think that we have to get wealthy, to give back to society. And that is completely backwards. We have to give to society in order to get wealthy. People don't understand. It's all about giving and finding something that's so valuable to give it's so offer that you can separate a person from their dollars.
John Soforic (16m 16s):
That's, that's not easy. So you have to be somewhat remarkable. You have to really give yourself to earn wealth. And so therefore it's not a bad pursuit. And then after you're done giving and giving and giving to get now, absolutely you can then choose your purpose, choose your philanthropy. I mean, you can, whatever you want, but I say the process of gaining it, there's a lot of giving there and there's a lot of honor there.
John Soforic (16m 47s):
And so that's what I believe. And I've decided to believe is important. You know, you talk about beliefs, you spoke of the wealthy gardener and you know, some of those law of attraction things, I can tell you this. I decided to believe that, that there is a governing force in this world that there is a creator, this, this isn't just design a haphazard design. And if this isn't a haphazard design, then there's a designer. I believe that there's a, that there's like a matrix, but it's not, it's not like we're governed by machines.
John Soforic (17m 23s):
We're governed by this universal intelligence that can be tapped into, and it's not impressive. It's not oppressive at all. It's actually really helpful if you put your head on it, if you get aligned, like the Dallas will say, get in the river, get in the flow. Now that works to your advantage. You know, go Yoda if you want, you know, get in touch with the force. So that is a strong, strong belief for, and throughout my book, I can speak from experiences where a person doesn't show up for a meeting, a person who opposed me, I can speak from experience where I wasn't strong enough to quit my clinic to do something.
John Soforic (18m 2s):
And then I cut my finger off and it gave me exactly the, it gave me exactly. We go the amount of time I really wanted the coincidence is the serendipity, all that kind of stuff. I believe in that. But I chose to believe in that, you know, Quimby was the guy who said he was, he once said that human beings are belief expressed, done, or belief expressed because that's what gets you from your intention to your execution. And it taps into forces that they, don't just, it's not just your effort alone.
John Soforic (18m 37s):
I say that over and over the book, but it is your effort to, and maybe this where I get in pro I have a problem with the law of attraction. People who go too far to that side, I blend both Western and Eastern. I'm a believer in both.
Lauren G. Foster (18m 52s):
Absolutely. And that the, the ways that you and I are similar are so much more vast than the, than the little concepts upon which we might not completely agree. So give us some of the, your favorite highlights from the book or, and be thinking in ways of, so we have listeners that are out there and this is money and physical health are the two most giant well in relationships. These are the three things that are almost universal that everyone is just struggling with.
Lauren G. Foster (19m 24s):
And what are, if you're talking to somebody out there who is just in a bad place regarding their money, and they're worried, and they're afraid, and they're not making ends meet or whatever, what, what are the, some of the basic things that they can do to begin to change their financial health and move in the direction of financial freedom?
John Soforic (19m 49s):
No, it sounds unrelated when I answered this, but I'll, but I heard you speak of physical condition and fitness and money. And, and, you know, I know what you were saying. Like, we, we tend to compartmentalize our lives into these categories. So then we can then structure it in a way that we can attack it easier. I can say that there's a wholeness to life in my, in my experience where, you know, I can speak from experience of being worried and being fearful and not knowing if I was going to walk off the cliff and have to work at Walmart and not send my kids to college.
John Soforic (20m 23s):
I can get that. So don't act like because of my ending, you know, I don't understand the beginnings. I do. I was worried and worried as a terrible, terrible, gross state of mind. So what I had to do was get to myself to thinking better thoughts. I had to get myself to the point of, and just, I couldn't always, I'm a pretty disciplined person, but I couldn't always just discipline myself, power worry out of my mind. It was harder than that in the real world, especially when you're talking about survival.
John Soforic (20m 54s):
So what are you doing? Well, let's talk about physical fitness. The thing that I know to do is I can get a face sweat, and you know, if that's something I can do, it's just small 15 minutes or exercise or whatever. Well, why does that have any of these with money? I'll tell you because it makes your mind stronger. It makes your thoughts bigger. It becomes you get in touch with your peak self you're. You're bigger thinking I'm in it. And people will never say well, yeah. Okay. But give me something to do with money. I'll say, well, God, can you sit down in a room and meditate about what you really want in life?
John Soforic (21m 26s):
Yeah. But give me a tactic. Can you sit down? Can you go exercise, make yourself your best version of yourself today? Do you understand that you're going to make your whole life going forward as is all the choices you make today? It's all about choices. Don't think it's not everything you have right now. The room that I'm in room, you're in, we chose these things a month or another, the glasses you have on the shirt. I have one. We chose these things, all of them. And so what we need to choose from our stronger thought, worry puts us in our weaker self. And so many times where we're trying just to avoid stress.
John Soforic (21m 55s):
When we're in a point of worry, it's not a strong state. We want to run. We want to crawl and hide and cower in a corner where we really sometimes, and this is where you and I talk about. Sometimes I think it's about book vocabulary. I say, we need to counterpunch it. Sometimes, sometimes we have to counter punch at life because you get this obstacle that comes at you, man. I'll tell you what I've been there, where I wanted the cower and strength, but I gotta find my strongest self to make the most intentional choice for my future.
John Soforic (22m 29s):
I can't do that. And let's talk. I have a good brain, a good physiology, a good peak state. So I start there and then I worked myself into a building, my beliefs, building my visions, building my, all the things that look like nothing to people. It drives me crazy. I, if you're, if you're talking the way you haven't, I want to say this like, Oh, I was, I was extremely impressed by our pre our pre-talk going into this one you gave, you said so many things that just resonate with me. And now I could feel the intelligence behind what you're talking about, the depth, you know?
John Soforic (23m 2s):
So I was so impressed going into this. I thought we're going to go philosophical discussion. So I love that. But it's starts with a philosophy people to understand it's about your vision of yourself and others and the world around you. Let's start right there because everything else follows it. It followed it from me. I'm not talking like a psychologist in a college I'm talking about. Here we go with analogies. Again, I'm talking about a soldier who fought in the war. And one, I needed a game time prepared mind.
John Soforic (23m 34s):
And I set out to deliberately prepare my mind on a daily basis. And I still do as a daily ritual. So those things matter, I, it is about, I
Lauren G. Foster (23m 46s):
Believe because everything that you're saying, what if I were to say exactly what you were to say, I, I try to never do anything I don't want to do. So, and you're saying that, you know, well, there are some times there are things that you don't want to do, but if you can find a way to get to, I mean, I can't think of an example off the top of my head. All right. So I have time you to help me in my business, but most for the most part, I'm a one woman show.
Lauren G. Foster (24m 16s):
So I have to learn a lot of different things, websites and email program management and technology for producing the show and getting it out everywhere. And a lot of those things, you know, setting up ways to get money from, you know, from websites. There's so many things that are not in my zone of excellence and not things that I know how to do and things that I don't necessarily enjoy. So my work then becomes to find a way to want to find a way to feel, do the mental work first before you go at this problem.
Lauren G. Foster (24m 55s):
And, and I do have an example from this, there was a, a financial system that needed to be set up in the back office. And when I went and looked at it, it looked just like total Greek to me, I'm like, I just, I can't do this. So I had two choices. I could have just sat there and tried to force my way through it and figure it out from a place of ease or I could walk away, do something else, do something that, you know, I did want to do that was productive.
Lauren G. Foster (25m 26s):
That was, you know, effective in my life and then come back to it. And I did this maybe four times and the fourth time that I came back, I went, Oh, Oh, I see this isn't hard. I, and I got it done in five minutes. So it could have invested two or three hours in doing it from a place of not enjoying it, not wanting to, and probably getting bad results or biding my time and getting myself lined up with this task. And it only taking five minutes.
Lauren G. Foster (25m 56s):
So that, that, that's just one of many little examples of how we never have to do anything we don't want to do if we do the mental work first.
John Soforic (26m 9s):
No, I, again, I agree with you. I, from the book, yeah. Let's start a fight. And I'm the book. There's a guy named Santos. Can I try to, you know, keep in mind that in terms of the story, I'm always trying to present a different archetype point of view. So Santos is a man who represents in a, in a sense, hard work ethic with very little thought. There's a, there's a guy over there named Jimmy and or, or Jared or something.
John Soforic (26m 39s):
He had been a, he, he will be a guy who's thought less and doesn't use his time at all, but always complains about his life. And so there's archetypes throughout this book. And Santos is a guy who can just work like a mule in the fields. And, you know, he will come down to it. Like once you read the book that is philosophy, which looks like so much agony to us is that he concentrates on why he's doing the work. And he has a family and he has hopes and dreams for that family. And guess what, when he's thinking about the family, the workforce feels like it has purpose to him.
John Soforic (27m 11s):
He's not a meal, he's a person who's given an opportunity to his children. And so all of a sudden there's meaning to work, just like what you're talking about. Sure. I get that. Yeah.
Lauren G. Foster (27m 22s):
Yeah. And then this is where, you know, doing the dishes. I don't, I don't know many people who really love doing dishes, but everybody loves to have a beautiful table. Every, everybody loves the results from that. And so you go ahead and project yourself into the future result of this task, that in itself, isn't all that enjoyable. Then suddenly everything you do has joy and
John Soforic (27m 45s):
Find your why. Sure. Find your why. Absolutely. You know, and I always two things, I always say that I know I made it in life when I could actually hire a guy to cut my lawn. You know, that's when I made it, I'm done. I've, I've lived a successful life. I don't have to cut my yard anymore. And I think that there's something to that as well, that as you evolve, as you gain more and more success in your business, now you do have a help or for your audio, right? Well, what gave you that opportunity money and money comes from success.
John Soforic (28m 18s):
And because of that, and you earn the right to do less of those more dreadful tasks, even if you, there are purposed, I get the idea that your gut, you have to, you have to make the best of this day and you have to find joy in it. Otherwise you just live a really unsatisfying life, satisfying that in pursuit of something that might've been meaningful or satisfying in the very end and hopefully a little in few years, once you achieve that.
John Soforic (28m 54s):
So I get the idea that you have make the best of this day at the same time, whatever, the more you become financially, I guess, powerful in life, you can now subjugate that kind of stuff. Or can you hear,
Lauren G. Foster (29m 12s):
Yes, I can hear you, but your videos for some reason, I don't know. Let's just, since we, the audio is the most prolific, we'll just keep going and hopefully this will unlock itself, but our plan is, is yeah, you are too, but you can still hear me.
John Soforic (29m 36s):
Lauren G. Foster (29m 37s):
Yeah. Okay. So if,
John Soforic (29m 42s):
Yeah, I can, you disappeared, but I can hear you. Yes. Yes.
Lauren G. Foster (29m 46s):
All right. So yeah, I'm back. So I just stopped my video and restarted it. So maybe, maybe that freed up a little bandwidth for just a second. All right. So you reminded me of a couple of different things that I want to do when I talk with you about, let's talk about the concept of sacrifice and impact time. And let me give you an example that, so this weekend, Saturday, I am having a little dinner party with some dear dear friends.
Lauren G. Foster (30m 20s):
And I am not yet where you are financially free. So that's what I read in the book is that until I have achieved this goal of financial freedom, all of my hours should be spent in an impactful way. And I'm totally expecting you to dispute all of this. And I think that you're going to do it in a beautiful way, but by that philosophy, the time that I'm spending shopping and cooking and cleaning and preparing for that party and the party itself, none of those directly impact my financial future.
Lauren G. Foster (30m 55s):
So does that mean, therefore that I shouldn't be, I use a lot of air quotes also doing this. Talk to us about that.
John Soforic (31m 5s):
Yeah. Let's take the gloves off right now. Sounds good. I S I say this, you know, the ultimate goal of the wealthy garden, our philosophy is to live an intentional life, alright. To live an intentional life. And I would say this, that you're telling me right now, your intention is relationships is to enjoy some of the, and to enjoy your dog walking through the background there to enjoy you.
John Soforic (31m 40s):
Don't mind shopping. That's OK. You know, it's, it's more, it's more something that you find to be enriching in your life. Well, is that not being attentional to me? Yeah. I'm not an, I'm not going to tell a person to give their life up for only one result. I do say, however, decide what you want and stop b******g about it. And then set out about thinking about it. Start set out about doing something about it and use your time for those things.
John Soforic (32m 11s):
You'll want, make it through the book. Lauren, you'll see that that's the ultimate goal. It's not about everybody has to get wealthy for credit a of my life. I can promise you looks a little bit a lopsided to a lot of my tenants. I'll go down there and see them. And I think, Oh my gosh, these guys are just watching TV and sitting on their portraits. A lot of times, that's terrible. And they look at me like this guy never gets to sit on this porch and watch TV twitches on. Right? If you get through the first several chapters, you're going to see that it's all about individuality.
John Soforic (32m 43s):
And that life is about individuality. We're all different. Nobody's had a cookie cutter. I get, I start getting my dander up whenever you, whenever I hear somebody say, this is how we must live. You don't ever hear me say that. However, if you're going to S if you're going to want a medical degree, you're going to go to school and you're going to sacrifice. You are going to give your days and your nights or five years to that goal. If you don't, Hey, hang out with your friends. Fantastic. You're not going to be an MD.
John Soforic (33m 14s):
And so sometimes there are times to put that pedal down. I'm sorry. It's the way it works.
Lauren G. Foster (33m 21s):
I have, my nephew is also, he's only three years younger than me. So he's very much my dear friend. And he's also an incredible businessman. And so he's, he's a business advisor. And so we, we talk about a lot of things. And I told her I was having a conversation with him this morning about our interview. And, you know, talking about this thing about how I come from this place of, you know, going with the flow and allowing things. And you also come from that area, but you're also about structured work and discipline and sacrifice and all those things.
Lauren G. Foster (33m 56s):
And so is he, he's like, Oh, this is going to be an interesting interview. My cause my nephew, thanks very much along the lines of that, that you do. And that, you know,
John Soforic (34m 7s):
Let me, let me throw a Punisher. I do not, I do not believe that they have to be exclusive. Okay. I do believe that you don't, you're not going to say, okay, I'm going to be spiritual or, okay. I'm just going to be a domineering guy who knocks walls down. I have to make a choice. No, you don't have to make that choice. That's where I disagree. You can be both. And I'm telling you, if you let's focus, Steve jobs and Apple look at his favorite book, autobiography of a Yogi.
John Soforic (34m 38s):
You want to see a guy who knows and believes in the law of attraction and never talked about it. Restate Steve jobs, his favorite book. He gave it out to everybody, luminaries at his funeral, read that book. He believes in people that can transport themselves through air. That's the book he gave out to everybody on his death day. You want to talk about a guy who also worked his butt off Steve jobs, Oprah Winfrey. She always talks about the spiritual life that woman's a worker, so they can blend these things.
John Soforic (35m 12s):
We can't have both. And we should. It's a well rounded life of effectiveness.
Lauren G. Foster (35m 17s):
Yeah. Well, well, we must win at that. And I don't like I have to, but a life that is when you're not growing, when you're not expanding, when you're not consciously becoming a better version of yourself, you're ultimately, it's not a satisfying feeling. It's just kind of a drift through life. Just reacting to external conditions instead of creating the conditions that you want. So, yeah, we are
John Soforic (35m 42s):
Wonder if I asked, did you ever want to assist you or if it's like, I wonder sometimes if that's just me, I can't, I can't judge others. Are they happy without growing, without learning, without striving, without seeking a higher spiritual level? I don't know. All I know.
Lauren G. Foster (35m 60s):
Good question. That's a good question. Because a lot of times I will ask my students, my clients, what is it that you really want? And they said, well, I just want to sit around. I would just want to, I don't want to,
John Soforic (36m 12s):
Oh, God bless you. God bless you, Lauren. The world needs you. I w I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.
Lauren G. Foster (36m 21s):
They think that they do see, we forget. We forget that this is a world of infinite possibilities. You, when you set your goal of financial freedom and this certain amount of money, the universe offered a thousand trillion endless ways in which you could get there. And you chose the way that you were going to get there. So what if I had been your coach back in that day, maybe you would still have done real estate, or maybe you would have done something completely different, but I would have challenged you to follow your bliss.
Lauren G. Foster (36m 59s):
That's, that's a chapter in your book that I wanted to talk about that following your bliss, isn't productive. Isn't, you know, whatever, but why can't it be both? Why can't you set your financial goal and then find a blissful joyous way. But I work reading your book is part of my work, educating my health on the guest. That's going to be on my show. And at the same time, I'm improving my own mind. I'm enjoying myself, but it's work.
Lauren G. Foster (37m 32s):
John Soforic (37m 34s):
Okay. So let's, let's talk about this one. This one puts me in a bear trap a lot of times, because I did read the book, do what you love. The money will follow. I assume that's the chapter we're talking about from this book for my own. And I will tell you that the passion idea I believe can be dangerous. Now, again, we have to talk about what is meant by passion. What do you mean by passion? Let me ask you that because I respect your opinion.
John Soforic (38m 5s):
I like how you speak, what do you say? What is your definition of passion?
Lauren G. Foster (38m 9s):
See, and this is a big one for me too, because I have always, I have always jumped from thing to thing, to thing to thing I have never really zero to until, until the last seven years, I've never zeroed in or felt like I knew my purpose, or it felt like there was something that I was just going to die if I didn't get it done and get it out in the world. But now looking back, all of the different paths that I took gave me information and knowledge that led me to this current passion and had I just in my first job, whatever that was back in about 39 jobs, John, it's your path in mind,
John Soforic (38m 52s):
You had certainly explored your options.
Lauren G. Foster (38m 56s):
Yeah. And had, I just landed on something at that point and not just pushed my discontent aside, just pushed aside and said, Oh, well, I guess this is what I'm going to be doing. Even though it's not what I love. I was, you know, the original millennial, even though this isn't making me happy, I'm I'm on this course. So I guess I'll stay here. People do that. And then they forget that there are other options. And so when I say, what do you love? What would you love?
Lauren G. Foster (39m 27s):
They can only think of what they know how to do what they think they're capable of. They can't imagine beyond that. So if say that you want to be a florist, you love flowers, you love growing them. You love putting them together for other people, but you don't know how to do business. You can go and learn how to do business. So if you figure out what it is that really makes you come alive, like there are so many things that I don't know how to do in this current business, but I feel so strongly about getting this message out that I'm willing to go and learn whatever it is that I need to learn.
Lauren G. Foster (40m 6s):
And that, so that's what I mean by passion. Something that you would do, even, even if I won the lottery tomorrow, I would still do this. The wealthy gardener is your passion that this message that you want to get out to the world is your passion. So that to me is what passion is. And what,
John Soforic (40m 26s):
So you're talking about fulfillment, you're talking about contribution. You're talking about service. You're talking about finding, finding the uniqueness of you and expressing the soul of yourself, you know? Okay. I'm in with that. Yes. Okay. My problem with passion is this is that too often, people think passion is what do I love to do? Well, there's a lot more factors than just you in this world. It can become a problem with an more of a narcissistic.
John Soforic (40m 59s):
It's all about me. And sometimes it's a slippery slope. Is it about service to others? Is it not? Is it about you? Is it about them? There's this is a pretty slow, because you can end up in poverty by following your passion. You can, you can end up really well off and holding mag golden glove, following your passion too, but it's really unlikely, but it's possible. Nobody's going to tell you, you should follow misery, but there's a suitability to life on certain things where if you're asking my opinion, I think that it's dangerous to say, what do I love?
John Soforic (41m 37s):
And I think it's a lot more, it leads to a lot more than a results of who do I have the potential to shine in, at least for competence, possibly. It's so difficult in this world to be remarkable that we have to find the strengths. You have things that you do better than me. I have things I do better than you. A demo, better find what those things are, because it's so difficult to step out of the crowd and be noticed in a way that will actually have an impact with you and your million women.
John Soforic (42m 9s):
Cool. Is you want to help? I think you've got a shot at it. I do, because I talked to you, you bring a while to me, we might be fighting back and forth. Okay. And I'm not sure where it's divided as maybe,
Lauren G. Foster (42m 28s):
But, but we have different perspectives and that's what makes life fun
John Soforic (42m 35s):
Strengths. I said, follow your satisfaction, consider your interests and your strengths. That'll get you to the point of life where you're kind of really good about yourself. And maybe that's that part of the soul that you and your interests passion should get a hobby. I'm sorry. It should be that's. That's just where it fits in the scope. Not allowed the hood.
Lauren G. Foster (42m 56s):
Yeah. I have to believe that. And, and you know, Elizabeth Gilbert teaches that too. She teaches, don't ever expect your art to support you. You're you're supposed to be, you know, your is supposed to be your passion. And you know, of course, that's, it's a very valid viewpoint, but I choose to believe that you can have both, you know, what, why, why can't your livelihood be something that you love.
John Soforic (43m 22s):
Yeah. And I choose to respect your opinion for it. I would say that whenever I was it, the more people you have on the plate that you're supporting the, the more, the less you can think about what you love. So the circumstances all around it, wasn't about me and my kids and my love. And maybe I want to write a book when I was 30 years old. Maybe guess what? I got a family to feed. And what's the best thing for that. These are the things that Americans are facing all the time. Like, how do I,
Lauren G. Foster (43m 49s):
In the chapter on John Christian, you already answered that question. When you were telling me the story about John Grisham, it, you, yeah. So that you don't say no, I'm going to just ditch my business. I'm going to ditch everything and only follow my passion now,
John Soforic (44m 7s):
Guess what? And guess what learned? You have a lot more free time than you do work time. Anyway, you know, you want to follow your passion, do it in the 70 hours of free time every week. I don't care, bro. Your flowers, you've got more time to leisure than you do at work. Anyway,
Lauren G. Foster (44m 23s):
Is there, is there an expectation in there that work is supposed to be hard that the 40 or 50 or 70 or a hundred hours a week that we spend generating income? Does it have to be hard in order to be valid? No. Okay.
John Soforic (44m 39s):
No. However, you can't leap off a cliff hoping that your wings work, whatever other people are relying upon you. So there is a practicality to it. So yeah, I wrote a book. Yes. I had a family. Okay. So my family went to college. I would take one with them to start off with $200,000 worth of student debt like I did. So therefore the responsible position for me was to provide for this family because all of them. And so that gave purpose to work. And the fact that you do in the fact that there are frustrations with work well, that's part of work a lot of time that it is even with the work you love, there's frustration.
John Soforic (45m 18s):
You see that passion, that book is, the book was a passion for your work, 50 hours a week or three years. My son will tell you, there is an agony trying to get the damn words, right. That I can never tell you would ever be possible. And so there is ups and downs to even the things you love, soulmates, including your best work, including everything. And we expect perfection and utopia. You're going to be disappointed. There is an up and down to all reality, even the best realities.
John Soforic (45m 50s):
And I say that you and I might disagree. I say that my life is better. When I'm open to handling the garden, I call it the garden metaphor of life. There's going to be ways I need weeded. There's going to be Beatles attacked every day. And so I accept that as part of what I want in life.
Lauren G. Foster (46m 11s):
Yeah. And it will be a boring lot that didn't have those contrasts, that everything was, everything was just perfect and rosy cozy all the time. That that's, that's not a hero's journey. There have to be challenges. There have to be struggles and you know, you and I can, we could literally go on about this all day. There's so many different things, right.
John Soforic (46m 32s):
We could have, we could have a flight test every week. Wouldn't be interesting if you swung one time, just thinking about that. Why is it interesting then it's a challenge.
Lauren G. Foster (46m 49s):
Yeah. And you know, w we do a whole week on how we look at stress and you know, you, you address that in your book as well. And that, you know, if you see stress as just challenge and opportunity and ways, opportunities to grow, then suddenly stress is not the killer that it is. And you know, you're not spending your whole life trying to avoid stress because they're in, is where all of the growth is. And all of the, the, yeah, the opportunity.
John Soforic (47m 19s):
I don't use the word. She used the word. I don't use the word stress and I don't use the other word. I don't use this failure. I don't understand it. I don't understand. I choose not to believe it. I don't understand why people believe in failure because it's definitely stopped breathing to me means you can't do anything more. So I believe in Cinemax all the time. Talk to me about failure. I can breathe.
Lauren G. Foster (47m 50s):
Yeah. We also do a whole entire month about word choices and the power box, power of words.
John Soforic (47m 58s):
I love it. I'm following him in.
Lauren G. Foster (48m 1s):
That's incredible. Okay. Now, so we can go up to an hour. So we've still got a little bit more time and I have some more things that I want to kind of pick your brain about. Let's say there was a thing over here, Tammy. I would say the name of the book that Steve jobs gave out at his funeral. Again,
John Soforic (48m 23s):
Autobiography, I'll be Yogi biography. It's not an easy book. It's going to be about a 900 pager. He read the book every year of his life. He gave that book in a black box. He gave up all the black boxes to the luminaries of the world. During his funeral, open a black box, the clock, the book tells you what they thought about that you want to find out. Whether the person is asking for what are your favorite books? That's really what formed and shaped Steve jobs, his belief.
Lauren G. Foster (48m 54s):
And that was part of my required reading for my meditation teacher certification. That's it's, it's a good one. That's like a classic. And I'm going to get read again. So that's been a few years.
John Soforic (49m 5s):
Yeah. Yeah. It's not easy to get through. No, but you know, you'll be paid. You'll be well paid by getting through it.
Lauren G. Foster (49m 11s):
Right. Absolutely. Okay. So we were talking about autobiography. Be a good team, is putting things in the comments for our, for our readers to be able to go and find things. So while rabbit brain, which is what we were talking about.
John Soforic (49m 33s):
Okay, well, let me, let me bring one to you. Let me check. This is what we were talking about yesterday. He gave me food for thought over the night, we were talking about your metaphor for life. I just always seem like I get back to this, the Stoics metaphor for life. This is like a wrestling match. I'm always talking about a battle. And I was talking to my wife about this, just like, you know, this upcoming podcast. And no, it's interesting because I'm using words that I don't necessarily believe in either. And then if you really want to know what my life is like, Hey, we need to figure out that what it is, your medical, is it what it is and figure that out.
John Soforic (50m 12s):
Why <inaudible> life is that life is a garden. Life is a garden. You know, you get to shape your garden. I wrote a book on it and it's a great metaphor for your time on earth. There's going to be weeds in a garden. Part of, part of growing up is how do we shape that garden to imagine, to learn things that will help you to shape that garden. You can form this to your own liking. And it's your job to do that.
John Soforic (50m 42s):
Your duty is to express your soul through whatever you see there and that garden. That's the part you're given that time on earth. That's my metaphor. And I wrote a book about it, or we were talking yesterday talking about a metaphor. This sounds like a booklet and a metaphor.
Lauren G. Foster (50m 60s):
Yeah. Which is a very, yeah. And I'm not going to give that some thought as to what the first thing that pops into my mind is that the, my metaphor for life is, you know, a winding road that, you know, you, you don't know exactly what's at the other end, but I'm going to give that some more thought before I commit to this is my metaphor, but I was reminded of what we were, that the ups and downs of life and the, so every single minute, this minute included has wonderful, awesome things going on in it, in my opinion, mostly wonderful, awesome things going on in it.
Lauren G. Foster (51m 37s):
And usually some an unwanted, you know, it's not a moral judgment. This is good. This is bad. This is right. This is wrong. But things that I love and things that I don't love are happening in every minute. If it's a conversation with my spouse, if it's a, you know, a conversation with my friend, no matter what, there's always both things happening. But you get to choose where you're putting your attention. Where are you putting your focus, where you're, you're watering and nurturing the beautiful flowers that are growing or giving all of your attention to the weeds?
John Soforic (52m 15s):
No, Lauren, if we are not consciousness, I don't know what we are. There is a thinker who's speaking through me who could observe my thoughts right now? Who can say, damn, John, what a dumb thing to say. That's consciousness. Consciousness is about focus and attention. The forces we talk about so easily ignore you too. This is a belief of mine. Okay? It's not that friendly.
John Soforic (52m 45s):
If you could just say all of that, it, you don't have to, but you choose to walk on. You can also choose to tap in and to be a part of that. You know, what I find is I find that meditation at the start of the day is absolutely crucial for my psych. I try to be mindful of the polls and the things I'm compelled to throughout the day. Like you probably see like a sculptor slam a rock, trying to make this call through.
John Soforic (53m 17s):
And I just came out of a ditch, dig and job this morning will help us. There's some of that. However, you know, I stay attuned to nudge there's some times when I don't feel like going to a place. And then I found out why later that's at the current, I talk about, I can get in tune with that. And I'm not going to be insured with that rest to this day, unless I first set up a ritual to it. Everybody's always saying, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Soforic (53m 48s):
Right. You're just spiritual witness. There's a bunch of hogwash. Like if you don't set up a mind, a ritual of meditation to bring yourself into that consciousness of the focus, the intention not going to have that happen.
Lauren G. Foster (54m 5s):
Absolutely. Right. Seeing a brother. Yeah. This is, this is the cornerstone of everything that we teach is that you create a morning ritual and we help you. We've got all kinds of tools to help you journal, to help you learn to meditate so that you set out intentionally on the day that you choose to have. And you're right. When you're tendon, then you make better decisions. And you, you know, you, you just, you have an inner knowing because you've taken the time to get yourself connected to infinite intelligence that knows everything that sees forever in both directions.
John Soforic (54m 41s):
What is an instinct? What is an inner voice? What is the pole you feel to something? What is that? I don't know, but I can tell you this. It helps me. If I'm in tune with it, I want to make choices. I don't live in gardener statements. Like I was pulling in this direction before I can see the map, you got to do that. And that's not easy for me. Cause you know, you do see the side of me. That's that likes certainty. I like to know where that, and that destination is.
John Soforic (55m 14s):
God. Sometimes you get pulled and sucked into these directions and you're doing a pull of the soul or a class when it's your job to do that, to walk in that direction. So, but, but you're not going to find that unless you're really tuned,
Lauren G. Foster (55m 29s):
You know, you just reminded me of that. Another thing that I wanted to inject there about the, you know, there's Mary Morrissey is the teacher at my life mastery consultant search to her. Her company is called the life mastery Institute and she certifies life coaches and dream builder coaches. And she has a really awesome and wonderful rich curriculum. But one of the things that she teaches you to do is when you're figuring out what you love, when you're constructing your dream, when you're setting your goal and creating your vision is that you put it through a test and there's, I think there's five steps I'll go through.
Lauren G. Foster (56m 8s):
And then we'll say how many, when we get to the end of it, the first is when you think about it, does it make you feel alive? Does it make you feel a wonderful and amazing and enthusiastic? And the second was, will it require me to have help from my higher power? Do I know everything that I need to know to do it? If you do, it's not big enough dream, a really good dream require you to grow. You know, isn't she amazing. And then there might be another one in there, but the one I wanted to get to is that, is there good in it for others because of a real dream that is really worthy of the divine creature that we are, is going to be in service of yes, our own happiness, but also in the service of humanity and the expansion of the universe.
Lauren G. Foster (56m 56s):
And so if you could meet all of those criteria, then you've got a vision that you and universe can get behind and start, co-create
John Soforic (57m 4s):
Say the most selfish thing you can do when the self serving thing in this world you can do is find that service for other people, because that is so selfish because he gives you so much, it gives you the fulfillment that they want in this life is this emotion. That's the end goal. What you're going to find is that none of the people in a way that's suitable to you, I think there's a lot of services that just suck because you're who you are. And it doesn't suck for another person to find that individuality that's service.
John Soforic (57m 40s):
That's where you bring it. I'll usually talk about this on the podcast, since you're bringing it up. One of my goals at 30 was to have that return income of $240,000 by my 50th birthday. That's extraordinary. She should laugh at me for that. At that time, I was drawn to, I was pulled to making a bold goal because I needed to test more than just me.
John Soforic (58m 11s):
I wanted to test the whole idea. That is it possible if I work and I ask for help through this part of the world, that can't be seen the product called the intangible forces of life. That was a big motivation for me to set that goal so high. I couldn't do it on. So if I cheated, I might have a story to tell you guess what I did. I don't have a story to tell that story. I documented in the book. And then a lot of people just waiting for the story.
John Soforic (58m 42s):
They just say, give me your tactics. I understand that is a tactic. That's doing something sitting alone in a room by yourself. Do you not understand thinking visualizing that's doing something? And I can't. One of my biggest frustrations is I can't get that across to people. And so I just leave out there and tell him, I tell you, here's the results that came from what I did. Take it for what you want.
Lauren G. Foster (59m 11s):
And you know, people, people hear what they're ready to hear when they're ready to hear it. And yeah. So it's your job just to get the word out there so that they're when they're ready for it.
John Soforic (59m 22s):
He's telling you the truth, right? This what happened and ready. You're ready.
Lauren G. Foster (59m 29s):
Cool. So, all right. So we were, ah, we are out of time, but you touched on the law of giving and receiving, which is a, it is an infinitely. The more you get, the more you will receive, this is why I'm predicting that the, the wealthy gardener is going to be a source of a lot of money. And I'm going to stand by that prediction because it's, it's such a gift. You know,
John Soforic (59m 52s):
You're going to see a lot of impact. If that's the case, I'll promise you this. You're going to see it go worldwide because I'm not going to keep the time with it. I will find a way to use that money to find the person who is now struggling.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 0m 4s):
Could there be a more giant statement of, of giving which in order and that in a scientific universe, in order for you to give in that way, you have to first receive in that way so that cycle's got to get started. I love it. It's awesome. And then the final thing was that today's topic was supposed to be about the law of gestation and how things, some things take different times to grow. You know, it takes a certain amount of time to grow a business.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 0m 34s):
It takes a certain amount of time to grow. Baby takes a certain amount of time. You know, you can't, I can't remember if it was more buffet. I think you said you can't make a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. It takes nine months. It's just, it just does. And so, and I had just conceived at that idea when I met you like the wealthy gardener, you're kidding. This. Guy's gotta be on my show today. And here you are. So
John Soforic (1h 0m 59s):
Well, it frustrated the living crap out of me the entire time. I always say, I'm going to finish this in six months. I'm going to finish this, backed up, backed up, backed that up. Is this isn't this art thing is really frustrating to me. I just have no control over it. I have no control over the end of it. And I'm like, there is a possibility for a sequel and you know what I'm talking about gestation. I just sit here in the state of discontent, not quite sure there's this feeling of a tension that I've learned is part of the creativity that goes into this kind of stuff.
John Soforic (1h 1m 41s):
And so you've got to get really careful, really, really comfortable with being uncomfortable. It's frustrating, but that's the process
Lauren G. Foster (1h 1m 52s):
Well that there is no growth without discomfort.
John Soforic (1h 1m 55s):
Yep. I love it. I love it. Lauren. You're a source of wisdom to me, you know, you're interviewing me here. I'm appreciating you.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 2m 6s):
Yeah, well, you know, I'm just such a, I'm not rocking the boat going with the flow kind of girl that I'm bringing up any kind of debate or, and, and, you know, we live in a world now a lot of times there's, there's Stripe when there's, you know, the topic of whether to wear a mask or not, and all of the politics and all of that. And there's, there's always a little bit of risk to bring up any kind of topic where there might be disagreement.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 2m 37s):
And, and so, but I had the faith that we were not going to disagree. We were going to explore, we were going to expand. We were going to, you know, have an amazing conversation. We did. I couldn't be more thrilled.
John Soforic (1h 2m 52s):
I see nothing but shades of gray so many times it drives me crazy. So I can, I can't basically, when you weren't, you weren't happy with what you were doing. You walked away and came back to it and finished it. I mean,
Lauren G. Foster (1h 3m 10s):
John Soforic (1h 3m 12s):
Heck I could have said that this book is way to wealth and spirituality. And it's my book is all about that connection between the two, without relying on one or the other, I could have never, I said several times that I couldn't have done this without the help God gives every bird, his food, but he doesn't throw it in the nest. That's the key. So yeah, you have to work. You got to sit in the couch and wait for a check.
John Soforic (1h 3m 44s):
You know what I mean? So you're useful. Maybe, maybe we aren't financially free because we're useful. We have a system set up in this world that the greater degree that we can impact the greater good, we get rewarded for it. What a fantastic system to keep us helping others. Those are the things that I see. There's a lot of spirituality and physicality to make an impact in this world.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 4m 14s):
All right. So the book is the wealthy Gardner. Tammy, we'll put a link to that in the comments, wherever you're watching this video or listening to the podcast, look in the show notes, and we'll give you a link to John's website and to the wealthy gardener and, you know, look at this point of view and educate yourself and start getting healthy and happy and healthy healthfully, rich, wealthy, and spread the word to everybody that you love. We're going to be back next week, John, again, thank you for being here with us.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 4m 44s):
I so appreciate it.
John Soforic (1h 4m 47s):
Thank you, Lauren. I enjoyed it.
Lauren G. Foster (1h 4m 48s):
Okay, awesome. And so in the meantime, remember that happiness is a choice and you can always choose to be happy first. I'll see you next week.
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